My Journey from Darkness to Real Sight

I was hungry and wanted to be fed.  Not hungry for food, hungry for the Word of God.   To prepare for my confirmation I had used a Braille copy of Luther’s Small Catechism, sourced by my pastor, but once that was done I needed more.  Then I discovered that the Bible was available on cassette (this was the 70’s).

The first New Testament I owned comprised 16 cassette tapes.  I was so excited to receive them that for the first few weeks I listened eagerly through the tapes.

I began with the Gospels and found myself being drawn to the story of Jesus healing the man born blind, in the ninth chapter of John.  His healing upset the Pharisees, his neighbours and others who had previously seen him begging.  They doubted it was the same person, or that the healing had really occurred.  It was far beyond expectation and belief.

Had the story ended with Jesus healing it would’ve been not unlike the other healing stories in the Gospels.   However, it was this man’s journey to actually find out who Jesus was that fascinated me.

As the story progresses, the man is cross-examined by the religious authorities about his healing, and he makes many observations about Jesus.   Firstly he calls him “The man called Jesus,” then later he calls him “a prophet”.   Frustrated with their questioning he says, “I don’t know if he’s a sinner or not, but one thing I do know, once I was blind but now I see”. Finally when he meets Jesus face-to-face, he kneels before him and calls him, “Lord”.

This story mirrored my own journey as a young boy who was born seeing but went blind later on.  I was angry with God for making me blind.   I wanted to see him but knew I couldn’t.   I even got so low in myself that I contemplated and even attempted self-harm.  However, through the love of various Christians I came to know Jesus as more than just my Saviour, but a real friend and guide.  I’ve learned to talk to him and also to unload my deepest concerns on to him.   I’ve felt his presence in times of being alone (but not lonely) as well as when I’m around others. Of course, where he really reveals himself to me is in the Bible where I learn to grow with him and to know his Father and mine.

When I think of faith, that man born blind has always been an inspiration to me.   I know what Jesus meant when he said, “I am the light of the world”.   Whether or not I see again in this life, I know that my faith in the Lord will be my real security and sight.

Adrian.